Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

When Mr Jules suggested we got ourselves a Christmas Tree yesterday I was most surprised.  What has happened to Bah Humbug??  But he seemed to think that it was important as we are so far away from friends and family.  Plus it would give me a place to put the presents I had collected on my UK trip. 

So off to Hill Road in Bandra we went (putting my own Christmas Shopping Guide to the test), where, after inspecting everything on offer,we selected a nice plastic made-in-China tree and tree ornaments.  It was quite a weird feeling to buy this stuff in the heat of the Mumbai sun.  But I am pleased with the results.  And the orange baubles match the colour scheme of our sitting room!

Tree complete with orange themed ornaments and flashing lights.

In place of a fairy...a tiger sits on top of our tree
We intend to see the real thing in 2013!

Tree by day...
This five foot tree cost 2,200 Rs. (after haggling) at a shop on Hill Road
(shop opposite a row of Christmas market stalls ..didn't get the name)

Poinsettias we bought in Santacruz

 

Some cute baubles I need to find a home for.
From; Raave Christmas Shop, 56 Hill Road, Bandra West : a dedicated Christmas shop open only in
 December which sells a large selection of trees, lights and decorations. 

Sing along now!

Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely
Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the christmas night
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely

Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging
Your boughs are green, in sommers glow and do not fade in winters snow
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging

Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the christmas night
Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely

Keeping a Dog in Mumbai - A Personal Tail

My friend Amy and her husband who live nearby to me in Bandra have been fostering Leroy for just under a year.  Leroy is a very friendly and very cute street dog ("Pariah") that they have looked after since birth. Very sadly, due to landlord restrictions in their building, the couple are trying to look for a new and caring owner or family for Leroy.  Luckily for this new owner, Leroy comes already fully house and human trained! If you are interested in following this up or if you would like to 'road-test' Leroy, the contact details are at the bottom of the page - or you can contact me and I will pass on a message.  I am keen to help Amy find Leroy a new, loving owner as he does so deserve to go to a good home!

Here is what Amy has to say about keeping a dog in Mumbai:

 

"In February of this year Leroy came into this world.  He was one of six pups born to a street dog under a vehicle in the car park of a friend’s apartment building in Bandra. As known dog lovers, my husband and I were approached to foster him whilst suitable long term parents could be found for him. At first, we were concerned about the lack of proper dog amenities in our locale and didn’t think looking after a dog could be done.  But after seeing those puppy eyes, we immediately fell in love and agreed to foster Leroy on a temporary basis, making room for him in our relatively compact apartment. After all, it wasn’t as though he knew about the rolling hills of the South Downs in Britain and therefore surely a life in our flat would be better than on the street or in a kennel…or worse should he have to be put down.

 

Leroy - How cute is that pose?!

Leroy is an Indian Pariah (which is what most, if not all, the street dogs here are). He is a short-haired blonde bundle of fun. Pariah dogs by nature are very alert - making him a great guard dog.  They can be initially wary of humans until they’ve given them a good sniff down.  The most notable characteristic of Leroy is his loyalty; he is always so keen to learn, so desperate to please and will do anything for a stroke and a cuddle. If ever there was an alpha male, it’s not Leroy! He loves other dogs, he loves company and he loves playing. He is definitely not looking to be the boss and never looks for a fight!

 So what about the outdoor space and walks? We are lucky that we do have a terrace and Leroy enjoys eyeing up the crows and pigeons from it. But thanks to the heat, he spends most of the day snoozing inside the house. Most days, we are able to walk him twice and this keeps him in check. All we do is walk around the block so that he can enjoy the sights and smells. Pariahs do not need a great deal of exercise as they are naturally lean dogs and sleeping is their main hobby (a real asset in Mumbai!) But whenever required, Juhu beach is also a great place for dogs to run and romp and we have spent many fun times there together. On the maintenance side, vets in Mumbai are very reasonably priced and so far I’ve only had to take him for routine vaccinations and de-worming.

All in all, having a dog in Mumbai is as fulfilling here as it is ‘back home’. That’s why we are so saddened that our fostering has come to an end and we will have to find Leroy a ‘forever home’. We have really warmed to him, but since our circumstances don’t allow us to keep him permanently we have no choice but to find him new loving parents (sniff sniff).  Please form an orderly queue!"

 

 

If you are interested in adopting Leroy please contact Amy on amybroomhead@yahoo.co.uk or telephone 99300 58312. You can meet and ‘dog-sit’ Leroy with no obligation to adopt him.   Amy lives in Bandra.

Note by BombayJules:  I can vouch for Leroy - he is adorable!  If Mr Jules would allow me a dog, I would have snapped him up right away.  I just went to visit him (or should I say Amy!) and he posed for me...how can you possibly resist those eyes...please call and book your trial!!

 

Peace & Tranquility in Palolem (Goa)

Well I think after our nine day tour of the Golden Triangle, La Visitante and I deserved a break right?

Palolem Beach, as seen from Cressida (restaurant/bar)

As the last part of my friend's visit to India, we organised a five day stay in Palolem for 'relaxation'. We stayed at the Fern Gardenia Resort, a five minute tuk tuk ride away from the centre of this South Goan resort. Our accommodation was a detached pine log cabin style room with en-suite bathroom. Thank god the airconditioning unit was working well, otherwise it would have been just like a Swedish sauna! Actually, the resort was very charming and the staff were lovely. I even got a ride on the back of the reception manager's moped one day when he saw me wandering the streets aimlessly, trying to find my way to beach on foot (yes, I did have to try my hardest not to fall off!)

Pool area at the Fern Gardenia Resort, Palolem

Palolem is probably the nicest place I have stayed in Goa to date. It has a bit of the North Goan vibe with its beach huts, hippy clothing stalls and restrained music scene. But it is not even half as busy, the beach is glorious and the people are nice mixture of travellers, regular tourists and people taking a break from the big cities. Laid back it definitely is.

There are a few very nice eateries in the town. Some are even mentioned in the Lonely Planet guide (surprise surprise!) but this time, they seemed to justify the recommendations.

Next door to Palolem is the quieter Patnem beach. We made a couple of trips here to partake of the delicious food served at Home. This was some of the best western food I have had in the whole time I have been India. Not surprising really, as the place (which also has rooms for rent) is owned by a British couple. But really, the food was divine.

\A selection of foods we had at Home, Patnem beach - salads are a must and the Bakewell Tart was to die for!

I would highly recommend Palolem as a break-from-Mumbai-hubbub destination. I will certainly be going back with Mr Jules!

Fishing boats lined up on the beach (actually dolphin tour boats)

La Visitante and I about to go off on our dolphin trip

Hard to photograph but we saw plenty of dolphins!

View of Palolem beach from the dolphin boat.

I couldn't resist playing with these adorable beach puppies.

The Fern Gardenia Resort
Devabag, Canacona, Goa - 403702
Tel: +91 832 2645400 -- 04
Fax: +91 832 2645405
Email: info@ferngardenia.com

Off again - back soon!

Hello readers

After my travels around the Golden Triangle, I had a busy few days doing some strategic planning work for my NGO and then went straight off to Palolem in Goa with La Visitante.  And now, I am about to get on a flight to the UK for a eight day whirlwind tour of friends and family, offloading my suitcase of Indian themed presents (tat?) as I go.

So I won't be able to get back on top of my beloved blog until I am back after the 9th December - I still have to write up the next few Golden Triangle tour updates!

About to go dolphin watching at Palolem, Goa

Apologies to my regular readers, I will be back soon, please watch this space!

Bye for now!
BombayJules

Eat : Serafina Restaurant, Mumbai

In between trying to finish blogs from my recent travels with La Visitante, I am posting a restaurant review I wrote for the December issue of Chalo Magazine....will be back in full soon!

BombayJules visits Serafina

I don’t think I have ever been to a restaurant within a few days of it opening.  In London you would have to book weeks in advance to gain access to a new eatery (well one of repute anyway).  So it was with some excitement that we were able to reserve a Saturday night table at the hottest new show in town, Serafina.
 

Serafina (3^rd Floor, Palladium, Phoenix Mills) is an outpost of the New York Italian restaurant where according to NYMag.com – “it is possible to sit upstairs at the 79th Street location, and pretend you're on a breezy patio in Italy as you munch on delectable thin-crust pizzas, stellar pastas, and inventive salads”.  The fact that the Mumbai outpost is based in a shopping mall (even such an upscale one) is therefore maybe a little disappointing. In retrospect ,  Serafina definitely lacks the authentic New York vibe of say, Café Zoe.  And once inside, the interior is as far away from a ‘breezy patio’ in Italy as it is possible to get. It would be better described as a homogenous chain restaurant with little character and little warmth.  Never mind, perhaps their pastas would indeed be ‘stellar’.

Upon arrival at 8.15pm the place was already starting to fill up. We were seated against a faux frescoed wall - certainly Michelangelo has not been a big artistic influence in these parts.  Our waiter introduced himself as Pradeep (or “Pradeepi” as I tried to call him in my best and most hilarious Italian accent). Blank looks all around.

 

That night we were dining out with two Indian friends who are extremely well versed in the Mumbai restaurant scene and I was hoping to impress them by bringing them to Serafina.  Firstly my husband chose some wine for us ladies – a nice bottle of Antinori Santa Cristina (Sangiovese).  It would have been even nicer if it had been served at the correct temperature bearing in mind the price tag was 3,500 Rs plus tax (and that was at the lower end of the price range!).  Still, it was a treat after my usual nightly dose of Sula and it soon warmed up.

 

For starters there was quite a bit of umming and aahing over what to choose. Everything sounded so wonderful.  It was the dishes with imported ingredients that immediately jumped to the fore.  We chose the “Prosciutto & Bufaline”, the deep fried calamari and the “Tartare di Sofia” – finely chopped ceviche style tuna on a bed of cucumber served with small rounds of finely sliced toasted bread.  When I sampled the buffalo mozzarella, it was definitely an “Under the Tuscan Sun” moment.   Creamy, meltingly soft and 100% bellissimo! Being starved of decent quality European ingredients had taken its toll on me more than I realised.  And the tuna was so light, so delicate and so authentic!  I loved it.   Except I was a little bit annoyed when the waiter snatched the plate from under our noses, when there was still a smattering of the ambrosia on it. I nearly hollered after him (desperate or what!) but then remembered where I was and who I was with.   The basket of calamari (how very Beefeater Steakhouse), which was actually enough for two or three people to share, was deemed ‘OK’ by our guests.  The many small rings of squid - I would have preferred choice large ones - tasted fresh but the breadcrumbs were slightly lacklustre and not quite crispy enough.  I think I would have favoured a light tempura style batter over breadcrumbs, but I am not sure that would have been authentically Italian.

Tuna "Tartari di Sofia"



Prosciutto & Bufaline - Bellissimo!

We had mixed feelings about the main courses.  My husband chose the “Farfalle al Limoncino”, whilst I went for the lobster stuffed ravioli in a lobster bisque sauce and our friends chose a “Ravioli al Porcini” and a parma ham “Di Fabio” pizza.  I felt that the pastas were all served inappropriately – dished up on to large plates with the sauce splodged around the edges instead of neatly contained in proper pasta bowls.  Points definitely deducted for presentation.  However, the creamy sauce on my husband’s farfalle was light and subtly lemony (another “Tuscan Sun” moment), and the porcini ravioli was really rather good. The pizza was suitably thin and crusty with a good layering of the salty parma ham on the top.  And I am pleased to say that despite my initial reservations about presentation, the pasta was cooked perfectly al-dente and appropriately coated in sauce - instead of the overcooked, swimming-in-watery-liquid dishes that are normally served in Mumbai’s Italian restaurants.  Our guests, who were not long back from a holiday in Italy, said that they had almost been transported back there by the food.  So that was good.

But hang on - I did not mention my lobster ravioli!  Oh my gosh, I am sorry to say it was most unimpressive!  The pasta was cooked well but I do not believe that a fresh (or indeed frozen) lobster had been anywhere near the filling or sauce.  It literally tasted of cardboard but with a hint of some unidentifiable spice.  Our Indian guest remarked that it had been ‘Indianised’….well I may disagree with that as it did not blow my head off with chilli and it was also very bland by Indian standards.  But something was certainly amiss with it.  Disappointed, I left three quarters of the ravioli – thank goodness we were eating with Indians who are more than happy to share their own food! (PS. (Apologies for the lack of photos of the main courses by the way, I got a bit caught up and forgot to take any!).

By the time dessert was offered we were quite full but decided we could still squeeze something in (isn’t that always the case?). So we went for the supposedly famed tiramisu and four spoons.  Well I’ve eaten a lot of tiramisu in my 41 years so consider myself quite an expert.  When it arrived, I was slightly disappointed to see that pouring cream had been lathered all over the top.  I immediately knew that this would smack of UHT…and I (think I) was right.  However the sponge fingers used to make the dessert had been properly soaked in the correct amount of coffee/rum mixture and nicely layered with mascarpone.  I wouldn’t say it was the best tiramisu I have had in my life but it wasn’t bad.  Next time I will ask for ‘no cream’.



Serafina's Tiramisu. Not Bad

We didn’t bother with coffees and asked for the bill.  And the bill was probably one of the most expensive ones we had ever paid for in our short time in Mumbai.  Four starters, four mains (all with a good amount of imported ingredients), one dessert, a bottle of the aforementioned read wine, three Kingfishers and two imported ‘Birra Morrettis’ came in at a rather scary 14,800 Rs including service charge and taxes. Granted – 50% of the bill came down to alcohol consumption.  If there is two of you going for lunch and you stick to sharing one calamari and a couple of simple pasta dishes and a bottle of water, it would be possible to eat for under 2,500 Rs including service and taxes for the two of you.  The service was very good (especially our waiter ‘Pradeepi’) – we didn’t have the usual five or six staff hovering intrusively around our table and neither did we have to chase for attention. 

By the time we left at 10.30 it was really quite buzzing with friends and families dining out in groups – I did not see many children.  As we walked out, our Indian guests excitedly remarked that Shobhaa De had been sat on the next table to us the whole time we were there. Unfortunately I wouldn’t have known who she was to recognise her!  But such is the pull of a new upmarket restaurant in Mumbai.

All in all the Serafina dining experience was nice but not spectacular considering the price. For that kind of money in Mumbai, you should be expecting plusher (or at least ‘trendier’) surroundings and top notch service. However, if you are lacking vital nutrients in your diet (I speak of European ingredients!) I recommend going just for the buffalo mozzarella, prosciutto and tuna tartare.  All divine!

   

Serafina

Level 3, Palladium, 

Phoenix Mills, 

Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel

Tel: 022 40237711 or 022 40237712

Golden Triangle Part 6 : It All Ends In Varanasi

After not having a wink of sleep on the overnight train from Agra, we were thankfully picked up by a taxi at the train station and brought back to our hotel, the Ramada JHV Varanasi.  This accommodation was rather a cop out on my part - when I was sorting out our Golden Triangle Tour, all the smaller hotels had been booked up due to it being Diwali - and rather than book a 'dive', I decided to go for 5 Star, characterless and corporate hotel (with very annoying 'Musak' constantly played in the restaurant and lift!).  I don't think La Visitante was too impressed by my choice!

Anyway that aside, it was actually nice to sink into a comfy bed with squidgy pillows after the previous evening's experience, for a quick morning nap.

Later on, and having no energy whatsoever to fend off rip-off tour guides and rickshaw drivers, we decided to use the hotel's in-house travel service to reserve spots on the evening and early morning boat tours on the very sacred Ganges.  We paid over the odds, but were past caring by this point.

The sunset boat ride on the ghats is all about the Aarti ceremony on Dashashwamedh Ghat.  This is a kind of puja, where candles are lit and offered to deities, songs are sung and bells are rung.  The one we witnessed (which occurs nightly in Varanasi) goes on for a very long time.  A very long time.


Aarti ceremony on the banks of the river Ganges.  The men sitting down are ringing the bells (monotone) and the specially trained guys standing up are waving around very heavy candle stands.  All in time with each other. It's quite a spectacle.

But firstly the boatman and our guide (a crazy crazy guy who I am sure was high on something) took us for a slow row up the Ganges. From the river, everything is on view as you work your way along.  Life and Death. 

Our guide tells us that people who have done bad things in their lives, can come to Varanasi and basically pay to have their souls cleansed.  What a cheat I think to myself.

We see some old men swathed in orange cloth sitting on the steps on one of the Ghats and our guide tells us that these men smoke hash all day - but they are allowed to because they are "Holy Men" (Yogis  I guess). Maybe our boat guide is also a 'Holy Man'?  People pay these men for holy consultations in the belief that they will be relieved of all their wrong doings.  To me they look like hobos - just because they have long white beards, smoke hash and wear orange cloth, doesn't make them holy.  What a con.

One of the Holy Men

There are people bathing in the waters and throwing the Ganges over themselves. I am trying not to think about hepatitis. The banks are filled with rubbish - and everyone knows where Varanasi raw sewage ends up.  The guide asks us to light our little candles, say a prayer to the setting sun then let the candles float off on the water.  Then he tells us to scoop up some water to press to our hearts and foreheads.  Oh my god ...no way!  I make a pretence at this but he sees that my hands are dry and tells me to go again.  I do actually make a prayer at this point, but not for the purpose that he thinks!

Candles and marigolds in banana leaf pots.... for floating on the river



Our candles...floating off into the distance

Our rower - a little old man chewing paan like there is no tomorrow rows us back to Harishchandra Ghat and as we approach, the orange wisps of flames grow bigger.  I know what is coming up for Harishchandra Ghat is where Hindus burn their dead.  In some cases the bodies are carried from miles and miles away.  In other cases, people come to Varanasi in order to die so that their ashes can be immediately thrown into the Ganges.  I am not sure how I am feeling about witnessing 'live' cremations (plural as there are about five or six happening at any one time).  La Visitante and I both later agreed that it seemed pretty disrespectful for boat loads of tourists to be sitting on the river witnessing this, 'just for the experience'.  There is even a boat load of Thai tourists who are standing up and taking photos of the spectacle!  This makes me sick to the stomach.

Then an even more dreaded moment occurs.  The boatman turns around to us and remarks what nice pashminas we are wearing (to protect us against the early evening chill of the river).  Oh no, I so know what is going to happen next!  "My wife, she is a fashion designer, she sells wery, wery nice scarves"...."Oh really?" we say, trying to look disinterested.  Even in Varanasi, so concerned with life, death and do-gooding, you can not escape the pashmina salesman! We are being tempted with more scarves right here on the water!!! So after getting off the boat at the end of our tour (after the long Aarti ceremony), we are walked back to where the car is parked via his PINK house.  In the PINK house, we are asked to sit down in a room where the walls are stacked to the rafters with silk items.  Scarves, bedcovers, sarees - the usual stuff (all that is missing is the silk weaving demonstration). We try to object, saying we are too tired after not sleeping the previous night.  But we are made to sit down and have a cup of chai.  Then we are shown a photo album (deja vu?) with pictures of the day when GOLDIE HAWN visited his PINK house to buy sarees and silk scarves.  If it is good enough for GOLDIE HAWN, surely it is good enough for two British ladies?  To be honest we couldn't give a stuff and despite virtually the whole of his family showing up (including his very overweight and scantily clad brother!), we did manage to eventually walk out - but only on the premise that we would return after the sunrise boat ride the next day.

The boat guide showing us photos of Goldie Hawn's visit to the PINK house

Goldie Hawn, her 'Guru' and members of the boat guide's family

The Buddha lives at the PINK house in Varanasi....
When we first met the boat guide's brother, he was only wearing a towel!   

This blog will be far too long if I describe the sunrise boat ride in full.  It was pretty similar to the previous evening's jaunt (and with the same boatman and high-on-life guide) but with the difference that the Ganges is bathed in an eerie early morning light as hundreds of people gather on the Ghats to wash themselves in the murky water.  Bodies were also still being cremated at this time in the morning - around 6am. There is heavy traffic as La Visitante and I together with hundreds of other tourists are rowed up and down the river banks - it's pretty much like a day out at the Cowes Regatta.  Even more so as La Visitante rolled up her sleeves to take over from the boatman...and rowed several hundred metres up the Sacred Ganges!  Most impressive!

Hundreds of Hindus preparing to dowse themselves in the Ganges



Varanasi Regatta

On the way back from the sunrise tour, we managed to dodge the PINK house by walking very quickly with our heads down. I think the guide got the message and did not press us to enter his house.

Already at 7am the streets were full - the city teeming with maimed humans and maimed dogs.  We couldn't wait to get out (Varanasi Very Nasty La Visitante called it).

Later that day, we visit Sarnath,  a lovely and relatively peaceful (and very sacred) Buddhist temple site with a huge stupa.  We see Buddhist monks wearing an array of colourful robes, taking photos on their mobile phones and carrying laptop bags - yet another weird scenario.



At Sarnath, Buddhists everywhere in their colourful robes- some clicking away on their mobile phone cameras, one carrying  a laptop bag. Modern spirituality.

That was it for Varanasi.  And the end of our Golden Triangle Tour!  The next day we flew back to Mumbai.

Thanks for keeping up with the saga!

School chidren in a cycle-rickshaw on the way to school.

 

Golden Triangle Part 5 : Aggro in Agra (How Not to Travel by Train!)

After being virtually forced into buying the rug, we made it to Fatehpur Sikri en-route to Agra.  Built during the second half of the 16th century by the Emperor Akbar, Fatehpur Sikri (the City of Victory) is a World Heritage Site.  "It was the capital of the Mughal Empire for only some 10 years. The complex of monuments and temples, all in a uniform architectural style, includes one of the largest mosques in India, the Jama Masjid".   

By this point we already thinking "Another City, Another Mosque".  They all seem to merge into each other after a while..perhaps we are just cultural no hopers.

After watching a strange lady making yoga shapes in one of the archways, we decided it was time to get away, and drove on the 1.5 hours or so to Agra.

I won't go into great detail about Agra except to say that we visited the Taj Mahal first thing in the morning when there was still a queue at the expected sunrise time of 6.00am.  But it was so worth getting there that early as the mausoleum was definitely more beautiful and far less crowded at that time in the morning.  We found ourselves a crazy little old man of a tour guide who told us very little about the building, but was an ace at pushing other tourists off the prime photography posing sites - ie the Lady Di bench.  With him in tow, La Visitante and I were able get great photos separately and together - I was only sorry I hadn't found him when I previously visited the Taj Mahal with my husband.


Crazy tour-guide-cum-David-Bailey-Royal-Photographer

Later that day we decided to start getting ready for the rather dreaded 12 hour rail journey between Agra Fort and Varanasi.  Unfortunately, although I had booked the tickets well in advance (second class air conditioned or "2 AC"), we had only been 'Waitlisted".  This meant that the train was fully booked and that we were on a waiting list.  We were at positions 6 and 7.  You can book train tickets from 60 days before the travel date but what happens is that travel agents get ahead by booking up as many tickets as they can in the hope of selling them on to the public themselves.  You've therefore gotta be quick if you are going to use the on-line train booking system (I used MakeMyTrip.com where you can now book Indian National Railway tickets) rather than go and buy Tourist Quota tickets at selected stations which is what I should have done.

You can check your waitlisted status online to see if any one drops out.  On the day of travel at 9am we were still at positions 6 and 7.  By midday we were at 3 and 4 which was a little but still useless progress.  Our train journey was at 9.30pm so I was getting very nervous by this point.  At 3pm La Visitante and I took ourselves off to Agra Fort train station to see if anything could be done. 

We hounded the man behind the glass partition for about an hour.  But it seemed that no improvement to our situation could be made there and then.  He told us to buy a 'general ticket' but I was not sure what this meant. Then he said come back at 5pm to see if any passengers had not shown up for the train as it had progressed from its starting point in Jodhpur. There was no way we could not get on this train as it would mess up our schedule - we were flying back to Mumbai from Varanasi and if we missed this train, we would more than likely end up missing that flight.

When we went back at 5pm. we found the same guy and he told us we had moved up to positions 1 and 2.  Relief!! Surely this would mean that we would get on...surely someone else would not show up for the train and we would be safe!  I should have touched wood.

At 5.30 the railway clerk checked again ...this would be the last stop before Agra and the last chance for a vacancy in our carriage.  But alas!  We dropped off the manifesto altogether...there were to be no spare seats by the time the train got to Agra!  I was in a real panic now but the clerk said don't worry, go and find THE MAN IN THE BLACK HOOD when the train comes in and he will help you.  Wow, I would go and see the grim reaper, this did not bode well.

Our third and final visit to the station was an hour before the train was due in.  The platform was absolutely chokka with locals and tourists alike.  I forgot to mention that it was also the peak of Diwali that night - so there were more people than usual, trying to get home to their families over the period of celebration.  I could see where this was leading.

I checked the lists that were posted up on the wall and I definitely could not see our names there.  So I went hunting for THE MAN IN THE BLACK HOOD.  I walked up and down the platform about four times with no luck.  The platform is about a mile long.  No joke.  Then a policeman wielding a big stick pointed out THE MAN IN THE BLACK HOOD to me (being actually a man in a black cap...not half as sinister).  I went running up to him to see if he could help me but he said come back later when the train arrived on the platform.  I was too early to hassle him.

It was 9.25 and we were feeling extremely frantic.  I had left La Visitante guarding our not insubstantial luggage (all the shopping from Jaipur) and local people were coming up to her and just staring....poor thing.  In the mean time, I had not been able to track down the same MAN IN THE BLACK HOOD but instead another MAN IN A BLACK JACKET.  This guy was not helpful and kept trying to brush me off.  As the train, our train came into the station, he started walking up to the front end with me running after him, trying to communicate and ask him how we could get on to this train (I was trying to ask him in an indirect manner if it was possible to bribe him!)  All I got was short shrift and told to head down the Sleeper Carriage.  The sleeper carriage is basically the bottom of the pile when it comes to train accommodation in India.  Nevertheless, La Visitante and I ran down to the other end, dragging our suitcases/Jaipur shopping, passing each sleeper carriage and trying to see if there was a free spot.  There was not.  All there was, were millions of bodies, with faces peering out of barred, glassless windows at us.  So we ran all the way back up the platform (again!) where the MAN IN THE BLACK JACKET was fiddling around with his paperwork.  I started pleading with him - "please let us on please let us on, how much how much?".  Angrily he shrugged us off again and shouted at us that we would travel in the General Carriage.  Agh! I knew that we definitely had a ticket for the General Carriage as we'd been told to buy one by the Railway Clerk.  So once again, La Visitante and I picked up our suitcases and ran all the way to the other end of the train.  Like I said before the train is about a mile long.  No Joke.  And I am very unfit.

So we reached the General Carriage with about three minutes to spare before the train is due to pull out of the station.  You know I said that the Sleeper Carriage is the bottom of the pile when it comes to train accommodation...well I was wrong!  The General Carriage has only bench seats and they allow as many people that can cram on to, well...cram on.  The door was blocked with standing men, women and children and I could already see that people were already sitting on top of each other in the carriage. Undiscouraged, La Visitante tried to clamber on top of the bodies so that I could pass up the suitcases.  But it was impossible.  And besides which I refused.  I was distraught but I could not travel for 12 hours overnight like this. I refused to go any further or make any attempt to join this unwieldy bunch of humans, goats and chickens.

In one last ditch attempt I shouted to La Visitante to start running back to the AC compartments.  I just had a feeling that we should try something.  I was in a terrible sweat at this point but we ran back again up the length of the train.  I spotted a gap in the doorway of one of the carriages and shouted to jump on.  I went first whilst my friend passed up the cases.  But then we turned around and who should appear in the doorway but THE MAN IN THE BLACK JACKET.  He gestured to us to get off the train.  He had a really scary look on his face.  An Indian passenger appeared next to him.  I was so exhausted I could not move.  He gestured again and this time three armed guards appeared behind him!!  Oh my god, we are going be thrown in jail for boarding a train without proper tickets!!  Then, on cue, I burst into tears.  I start wailing..."please please let us stay on the train...we have to get to Varanasi!".  The Indian gentleman talks quietly to the guard.  Then I realise that we are doomed and start to try and drag our bags back off the train. But then he puts his hand up as if to stop me in my tracks!  The Indian gentleman speaks to him again and then turns around to address us.  "Dont' worry, don't cry, he is going to help you...".

Oh my god THE MAN IN THE BLACK JACKET is going to help us??  Turns out there are two spare seats in 3AC (Third class Air Conditioned) and he is going to sell us a ticket.  But only because I started crying.  Man is that what it takes to get on a train around here? After this particular 'fat contoller's' display of power, I am really not impressed but I try to show some charm in order to complete the transaction.  He is slow and methodical about writing out a replacement ticket (no bribes accepted, clearly). Eventually we are shown our seats by the nice Indian gentleman that helped us (and is sitting two rows down).  I slump down next to two other back-packing couples who I had previously met on the train platform and who had also advised me they were on a waitlist (but further down than us!)

We could only conclude that the MAN IN THE BLACK JACKET was a sexist, conniving B*****D.

After 12 hours of not sleeping on a bunk suspended from the ceiling from what looked like a piece of spaghetti, we arrived safely in Varanasi. But with the opinion that we would never travel by long distance train in India again!

3AC bunk bed (one of three tiers, this is the top)

More bunks.
I won't show you the picture of the toilet that La Visitante took -
it will put you off train travel forever!

On a brighter note...more images from our visit to the Taj Mahal:



BombayJules makes her first appearance on the blog!

You just can't ever get bored of it.....The Taj at sunrise

I love these ladies - visiting from a rural village (I wonder if they travelled by train?.....)

And some more.  I bet they would have loved this photo - not having cameras themselves