The Mumbai Expat : Maximum Shock

There is a great deal to love about India - its colourful people, culture, cuisine, traditions and tourism. I'm already addicted.  But India also has more than its fair share of ways in which to catch newly arrived expats off balance.  They call it Culture Shock. In Mumbai you may find it a Maximum Shock.

So here is my guide on what to expect upon setting foot in the city.  I hope some of this information covers the many questions I get asked by readers. And remember - you can't change India - so please live with it!

Food / Expat Foods

Indian food is delicious.  But you won't want to eat it all the time.  Most middle class Indians certainly don't! There are a plethora of western-style restaurants and takeaways in the city - but don't ever assume that your favourite foods will be faithfully reproduced. You will find that pasta and Chinese food is generally over-sauced; the beef is in fact buffalo; mutton is in fact goat; and most dishes will either by over-salted or chilli hot.  Even a cheese croissant from Costa Coffee will contain green chilli.  Western cuisine is simply too bland or dry for the Indian palate. You will need to find your way to the best restaurants in the city in order to find true authenticity (and even then you may find things to complain about).  But don't worry - you'll soon get used to it!

Find 'Essential Waitrose' products at Hypercity

You can buy a lot of foreign foods at places such as Godrej's Nature's Basket, Pali market or Hypercity. But you may have to go to several locations to track down your favourite foods.  For example, in any given week, I will go to Sante's on Pali market for my ham and bacon; Choice across the street for my Cheddar, sour cream and Heinz Baked Beans; to the Trident in BKC for the only English style sausages I have managed to find in Mumbai; to the deli at the Grand Hyatt in Santacruz for my chicken & mushroom pies and Philadelphia cream cheese (and smoked salmon if I'm feeling flash); and Nature's Basket for a decent pot of hummus.  I know I know!!  If you are a vegetarian - you are going to be in heaven - fresh fruit and vegetables are available on every street corner.

Of course some of you will opt for a maid/driver that does all your shopping and a cook that prepares all your Western cuisine....lucky you!

Veg / Non-Veg: You will hear and see this all the time in restaurants including western-style eateries. The majority of Hindus are vegetarians so restaurants and menus tend to be classified into veg or non-veg (or 'wedge' and 'non-wedge'!) and you will be ask what category you fall in on occasion. However, eating meat is becoming very fashionable in Mumbai, even for Hindus - being the cosmopolitan city that it is.

Beef:  Cows are sacred in the the Hindu religion.  Despite this, you will see cows walking aimlessly around the city - in amongst the traffic and on the pavements - with no-one caring for them. The selling and eating of beef in India is currently against the law.  However, you will find that buffalo meat is available at such butchers as Joseph's in Bandra and that hamburgers (made of buffalo meat), are in fact all the rage in Mumbai.  On the plus side, buffalo is a lot leaner than beef.  On the down side, it can taste a bit 'gamey' and may require a lot of added fat to make it into a juicy patty. As for Pork and Lamb - good quality cuts are not so widely available.  Mutton is what you will find in a meat curry - but it's usually goat meat.  Pork is reviled by Muslims but again, you can get a good shoulder of Yorkshire pork at Joseph's. I tend to avoid Indian Pork as it is a  bit tough and gamey (probably because it is boar). Chicken is widely eaten by all religions and has no offensive connotations (to my knowledge!)  However - please note that unless you are eating in one of the more expensive Indian restaurants such as Copper Chimney or Caravan Serai (and hotel restaurants), chicken and mutton curry tends to come on the bone.  Whilst cooking on the bone imparts a wonderful depth of flavour to Indian curry, the meat is not 'jointed' like it is in the West - instead, it is hacked at with a meat cleaver leading to uneven pieces of meat and shards of bone in the sauce.  If you eat with your hands it will be easier to handle.

You an email me on bombayjules@gmail.com for further tips on where to buy expat foods.

Water & Food Hygiene

The water that comes out of the tap in most apartments can be put straight into the kettle to boil for tea or straight into a pan to boil rice and pasta.  It's treated but it's not potable.  You must only drink and brush your teeth with water that has been filtered or bottled.  Bisleri is the most common brand and only a few rupees - some people have Bisleri machines installed in their apartments although most properties have a water filter also installed.  Aquafina and Himalaya are two of the many other trusted brands available (my favourite is Himalaya).  In most Indian restaurants, you will be given a glass of water to have with your meal.  If you can't trust the source, always ask for bottled water (until you are feeling braver).

Similarly you should only eat salad or raw veg if it has been washed in sterilised or filtered water.  Only eat salad at reputable restaurants (Indigo Deli, Eat-Around-the-Corner, Subway etc) or in 4/5 star hotels where it has been meticulously washed.

Try to avoid street food unless you can see that there is a fast turnover and it is being cooked in front of you. Hidden bacteria is present in chutneys (as they are made with water) - so if you're treating yourself to Vada Pau or Masala Dosa - do not touch the sauces!  If you want to try street food - avoid meat until you become  a little more experienced.

Indian street food can be wonderful - but you have to know what you're doing

Oh and one other thing - when ordering bottled water in a restaurant you will always be asked whether you want it cold or room temperature.  Some people believe that cold water will give them a throat infection - and in fact drinking cold water can give you a stomach ache on a very hot day.  At first I used to ask for cold water but now I usually request 'room temperature'.  You will also be asked to touch the bottle to verify its temperature before it is poured (same goes for beer).

The Right Hand is the Right Hand

Your neighbours/colleauges/friends will commonly eat Indian food with their right hand except for when dining out - when using a knife, fork and spoon is the norm. If you are eating at a traditional Indian eatery or a local establishment - expect that everyone will be eating with their hands.  However, you can ask for a spoon or a fork - that's OK.  In Mumbai or any of the other big cities - if you do touch your food with your left hand (as I do occasionally as I am left handed) - then you are unlikely to be frowned upon.  If you were to go into a rural village - there is little chance of being given cutlery and you must eat with your right hand.

Why all the fuss?  The left hand is considered unclean as it is used for 'bathroom matters' (see 'Toilets' below). You should therefore not touch food or pass around objects with your left hand as it is considered the height of bad manners.

Hand sanitisation: most expats when they arrive in India will be paranoid about germs - and rightly so. We all go through a phase of constantly sanitising with anti-bacterial gels and washing our hands.  As you become used to the city, this will reduce somewhat although of course it's always wise to wash your hands before and after a meal (as is the Indian custom too).  I always wash my hands after handling vegetables on the market as well.

Toilets

Western style toilets are the norm in places where expats are likely to hang out - at home, in hotels, restaurants and shopping malls.  You will also find toilet paper widely available.  However, you will see that there is a shower-head type thing next to all loos for those who still use the 'old' method of 'cleaning up' (ahem, the left hand).  If you go into more traditional Indian homes, restaurants and places on your travels, you will inevitably come across the 'squatty loo'.  Just do the best you can ;-) that's all I'm gonna say (and always carry extra toilet paper with you if you are travelling).  Also bear in mind that India is a country where more people own mobile phones than have access to a proper toilet.

Weather / AC

If you are like me then you will find it very difficult to stand the intense heat and humidity of the city. It's worse after the monsoon (July-September) in the months of October and early November and in April and May just before the monsoon returns.  In those months I tend to go from my air-conditioned apartment to my air-conditioned car to an air-conditioned office/shop/restaurant.  You can end up living in a complete bubble! It's really not ideal to live in these kinds of conditions - try to keep a bowl of water in your bedroom if you intend to sleep with the AC on as we do - it will help keep your skin hydrated. Wear loose cotton or linen clothing, drinks loads of water and try to take exercise regularly.

Medicines, Doctors, Dentists

All the medicine you could ever need (except for possibly specialist prescriptions) is available at the many chemists that will dot your locality.  What's more - medicines are really cheap here.  Especially if you're OK with using generic brands.  Painkillers such as aspirin and ibuprofen are a few rupees, you will always find the exact remedy for any type of sore through or cough and rehydration salts are also widely available.

Most expats will have comprehensive life and medical insurance provided by their employers.  On the odd occasion that you have to visit a doctor, the average consultation is a 200-500 Rs depending on where you go (try to get recommendations for your nearest doctor upon arrival in India).  Same goes for the dentist.  There are also some very reputable hospitals in the city - Hiranandani (Powai), Ambani, Jaslok and Lilavati.  (See here for information on having a baby in Mumbai)

People Overload & Poverty

There are over 20 million people jostling alongside each other in Mumbai.  At first, the sheer numbers of people can make you feel overwhelmed. People are everywhere and your personal space can end up being limited in public places.  A majority of these people live on $2 a day or under...so always think yourself lucky.

Approximately 60% of Mumbai's 20 million inhabitants live in slums.  It is the first thing you see when you taxi on the runway and is pretty much all you see all the way through the city (along with all the rubbish).  It's a fact of life and it doesn't mean that slum dwellers lack self respect, do not keep themselves and their homes clean or are not working to earn their keep.  I recommend going on a Dharavi Slum tour when you can learn more about Mumbai's marginalised communities.

It is also well documented and talked about - the children that you see at the traffic lights who knock on your window begging for a few rupees. Or the skinny families and naked babies that you see residing on the pavement with just a tarpaulin or a saree for shelter.  It's gut wrenching and it's heart breaking. Try not to give money to beggars who knock on your car window because you can not be sure that they are not part of a begging ring where the money will end up with a Fagin type character at the head. Instead you can do as we do - if you have been to a Indian restaurant and have loads of food leftover - have the staff pack it up and give it to a family on your way home.  It will be appreciated.  Or go to one of the roadside 'soup kitchens' and donate 100 Rs - 10 people can be fed this way.  These places can be found in Mahim and Bohri Mohalla.  After 18 months in Mumbai I am still disturbed by the raggedy young kids I see dodging the traffic - but it's sad to say that I have also become inured to it.

Such scenes can be very upsetting (and ones that I don't normally take photos of).

Traffic & Noise

Of course with all these people and a massive burgeoning middle class who are buying more and more cars, you can only expect that the traffic is going to be extremely bad.  And Mumbai's existing infrastructure simply can not cope with it.  The roads going into South Mumbai are permanently clogged with slow moving traffic and it can take a good 1.5 hours to get between Bandra and Fort during rush hour.  More if there is a festival going on or if there has been an accident.

You will see various initiatives underway across the city - such as the Metro and Monorail - but these have been years in the making; probably will not be ready for some time; and even when they are - will do little to reduce pressure on the roads.  As an expat - you can end up spending a lot of time in the car so you should think about this (a lot!) when choosing which location to live in.

A gap in the traffic?  How strange!

With huge numbers of vehicles on the road comes massive noise pollution.  'Sound Horn OK' is what you see on the back of every truck and so that's what drivers do - sound their horn - constantly.  Indians seem to be totally immune to loud noises - it is part of their daily lives - but to us it can become too much, too quickly.

Crossing the road can also be a challenge with all this traffic.  The best thing to do is stick your hand out and cross, maintaining eye contact with the driver (or you'll be waiting all day!).  Drivers are used to it and will slow down or stop.  If unsure, follow the crowd - there's safety in numbers.

Trash Central

Yes, Mumbai is full of rubbish.  It's the second thing you notice (after the poverty) when you leave the airport and it's usually the last thing you see before turning off the street into your nice cosy apartment block. There's trash on the side of the road, trash on the beaches, trash in the slums, trash in parkland, trash everywhere! I am afraid to say that bins and the throwing of rubbish into bins is not a priority here.  People have not been taught the importance of disposing of trash carefully - from the poorest of the poor to the richest of the rich. You are just as likely to see a crisp packet being thrown out of the window of a BMW as you will street children picking through rubbish dumps. The thing that keeps me going is that nothing goes to waste - everything is picked through and anything that can be recycled, is.

Everything in India gets recycled - as represented by this artwork

'White Tax'

Accept that if you're shopping where there are no fixed prices that you are going to be charged the 'White Mans Tax'.  It is naturally assumed that us Westerners are absolutely loaded and should be charged 30-40% more for vegetables and trinkets alike.  If you're buying veg from the market like we do - make friends with a vendor and show him loyalty - after a while you will see prices go down. Either that or get fluent in Hindi and know your veggie prices and you will be able to haggle!

Pali Market - get ready to haggle!

Similarly - expect to pay 'Foreigner' supplements to get into Museums, National Parks and other monuments. Even when you get your PAN number and become an Indian tax payer, you are not precluded from these fees.

High Security

When you enter a large mall - such as Palladium or Phoenix Market City or even any of the department stores such as Shopper Stop and Reliance - you will have your bag checked by a security guard and a wand passed over you. Women have a separate entrance and are checked by female security guards. Ever since the attacks on Mumbai in 2008, the city has been much more security conscious - although I find that the checks are usually only cursory.

When you pull up at any of the big hotels in Mumbai (and across the country) the car will be checked over - the boot, the glove compartment and sometimes they will check underneath with a mirror. You will also have your handbag scanned before entering the hotel lobby.

Security at the airport can drive you insane.  When passing through an Indian airport - you will have your passport checked at least three times and your bags scanned two to three times.  With hand baggage - you will receive a label for each one at the time of check in - you must make sure that these are stamped by the security guy once it has been passed through the scanner or you will not be allowed on the plane.

The Staring Game

If you are a foreigner with fair hair and pale skin you will be stared at in public places - such as tourist hot spots, trains and buses. The level of hassle will increase for you I am sorry to say! Many locals are just not used to seeing westerners and will find the sight of you (and particularly small, blond children) extremely novel. If you are travelling in India, you are likely to have people come up to you and ask to have their photo taken with you - usually on a camera phone. Fair skinned girls should be aware of groups of boys following them around monuments - as happened to a couple of my friends - in an attempt to get a photo.  Sometimes one of the group will come up alongside you and the others will pretend to take his photo when they are actually trying to snap you. People are usually friendly and unthreatening but it can also turn into a nasty game...so just be on your guard.

People may like to take photos of you....but I like to take photos of them!

The Shopping Game

If you go into a store it is normal for one of the staff to latch on to you and follow you around.  I am not sure if it is because they are on commission or if it is because they think they are providing you with a certain level of service - but it's a real PAIN!  And whilst they are following you around, they will often also point out the obvious - 'this is a kurta'; 'this is a pencil'; 'this is blue (and we have it in red)'. If you are not a diminutive size 6 Indian lady, they will often say 'we have that in big size madam' (or in my case 'wery wery big size madam'). Don't take offence - they are usually referring to your height not your girth!

On the positive side - there is simply nothing that can not be sourced or made in India and small shop keepers will go out of their way to help you. It always amazes me what can be purchased at the tiny hardware shop on Pali market - from mops to car vacuums to woks and salad spinners - ask for it and it will materialise! (And of course anything can be delivered right to your front door should you so desire it).

Lost in Translation

Most people you will come into contact with will speak English. But as mentioned in my blog 'You say tamatar, I say tomato' - accents count for a lot in getting understood.  Be aware that it helps to roll your Rs and change your Vs for Ws.  And give the head-bobble a go.  Of course - it's nice and it's polite to learn the basics of Hindi - great for haggling, instructing tuk-tuk drivers and for 'meeting and greeting'. Also be aware that if you have a strong regional accent - such as Scouse or Yorkshire, you may receive a lot of blank looks (funnily enough I think a Welsh accent is the best one to have...watch this Godrej advert on YouTube and you will see what I mean!)

There is also a raft of Indianisms that people working in offices should get to know.  Phrases such as 'prepone a meeting' (ie bring it forward) or 'do the needful' (do as requested when neither party has a clue how to get it done!) or 'having doubts' (having questions about something). You can find more such Indianisms here.

Telling it how it is

Please don't be shocked if someone in your office or perhaps your maid tells you that you are looking rough/fat/tired/untidy.  Indians are innocently honest and like to point things out to you when you are feeling at your worst - but no offence is intended. (By the way - it can be culturally difficult taking on staff - you can read my blog about it here)

Mañana (there's always tomorrow)

Getting things done quickly (or at all) in India can be a challenge to people coming from efficient economies. And it's something that you must get used to. A Service Culture, India is not! Finding quality workmanship and a promise to complete work right away - or waiting in for endless hours for service personnel can wind up the most laid back of people.  People working in offices and NGOs will also find the bureaucracy mind boggling - every step of opening and running a business or charity involves endless paperwork and approvals.  It can be enough to get you down.  However, the locals that you work with will have plenty of experience and patience - so I suggest heavy delegation as the way forward!

Us expats exist on recommendations from others for good plumbers, carpenters, maids, doctors, grocers etc etc.  Make sure you join up with one of the groups mentioned here in order to find the best information about who does what well in Mumbai.

Well that's all I can think of for now.  I am sure there are many more ways in which India can culturally shock you!  Any expats reading this - please feel free to leave further suggestions/experiences.

The Mumbai Expat : Having a Bombay Baby

I love people with a 'can-do' attitude and my friend and fellow blogger 'Mumbai Mum' is one of them. Amy (to you and I) was recently brave enough to give birth in a foreign city, far far from 'home'. Thoughtfully, she then started documenting her experiences on her blog  - so that other expat mothers would realise that they weren't alone. I have included this subject matter in my Mumbai Expat series as I feel that having an expat baby or bringing up a child in Mumbai could be a very daunting prospect for any foreigner.  Please therefore read on if this applies to you!

Whilst my 4.5 month old baby daughter is napping comfortably in her cot, I would like to take the opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Amy and I pen the blog 'Mumbai Mum'.  I moved to Mumbai with my then fiancé, now husband, back in Nov 2011. We had our first child Annabelle in April 2013, right here in Mumbai.

Baby Annabelle!

The decision to have our child here was not a difficult one. My husband is part Indian and we were keen to keep the Indian heritage alive. Finding out I was pregnant was still quite a shock though; they call it a 'honeymoon baby'! At the beginning, we were pretty clueless about what to do - but my husband checked the list of insurance approved hospitals and we started investigating our options.

Initially we used a hospital in Powai (north of Mumbai) which has an excellent maternity unit. In fact it also seems to be the international go-to hospital for surrogacy. We really liked our doctor there and found the amenities great; very modern and clean - unlike most places in India - and it was relatively efficient too. However, the treks from Bandra, where we live, to Powai (though only 17 kms away but seemingly hours in the car) were quite a bind.

You may not know that it is against the law to pre-determine the gender of one's child in India, so we were in the dark on that front right up until delivery. Actually, this was fine by us because even if we had been in the UK (where we are both from) we would still have chosen not to be informed of the baby's sex.  We love surprises!

My pregnancy was fairly uncomplicated throughout with only a couple of up-and-down moments. Luckily I was very well supported by our expat midwife all the way (find details of JuskLink midwives here).

The end of the term was a little more complicated: towards the end of my pregnancy I was told that the baby was in breech position. I tried many a trick to turn her but she was stubborn (like her father) and remained that way right to the bitter end. This resulted in me undergoing a caesarean - which was much to my disappointment. When we got the news, we immediately started to discuss the imminent c-section with the doctor and the hospital, but found that all of our requests were against hospital policy (such as having my husband in the operating theatre and having skin-on-skin with the baby straight after the delivery).  This was quite a hard pill to swallow and as a hormonal pregnant person I struggled to conceal my emotions.  My husband therefore contacted our midwives, who, ever to our rescue, managed to arrange for us to meet with another doctor at Ambani hospital in Andheri. We only met our new doctor on the Thursday - and were booked in for the caesarean on the Saturday! Quite a rollercoaster!

The operation was in fact beautiful in its own way and we were delighted when the doctor announced we'd had a baby girl.  (The only female grandchild on my side of the family out of seven grandchildren!)

Annabelle is now 4.5 months old and we are coping brilliantly, if I do say so myself. I thoroughly enjoy motherhood and raising a child in Mumbai. It can be challenging at times (the lack of clean outside space is what really gets to me) but there are pros to having a baby in India; house help, drivers, home deliveries and great friends! 

My 'Mumbai Mum' blog is about the trials and tribulations of motherhood in general but also about Mumbai. It contains advice, recommendations, reading lists and stories about the good and the bad. Follow me at: www.maternalmumbai.wordpress.com.

If you are expecting your own child or have children already I also organise coffee mornings where you can meet other like-minded people and share your experiences (coming up: fitness sessions too!). You can keep up to date by joining my Facebook page here. 

The Mumbai Expat : Being A Better Half

WARNING: Long Blog Alert!

I mentioned in my last blog introducing you to my upcoming Mumbai Expat Series that I would write a post entitled 'Coping as a Trailing Spouse'.  I don't know what I was thinking really because I despise that term - a term for someone who joins their partner in another city where they have a work assignment.  It is so derogatory and implies that the other person has nothing to offer or nothing better to do with their time than merely 'trail'....like a snail.

When we came to Mumbai last year, Mr Jules was concerned that I would soon become bored. No doubt, you will have the same concerns if you are reading this. And it is true to say that without a work visa, your options can be very limited in this city.  Especially if, like me, you have given up a full time job and salary in making the transition - or you are a mum whose kids will soon spend the better parts of their day at school.

Mumbai, from what I can gather (having never been an expat before), is one of the most challenging cities in the world in which an expat can reside.  From the climate, to hygiene worries, to the general ugliness of the city (sorry Mumbaikars!) to the roadside beggars; to the bad traffic and poor infrastructure; having to haggle for fair prices and battling with Hinglish miscommunication. As a Westerner - every conceivable difficulty is thrown your way and a lot of people can become isolated and find it very hard to settle.

That is when you have to dig a little deeper and think laterally about how you can pass your time in a meaningful, enjoyable and satisfying way.  I honestly believe that coming to India is a wonderful opportunity for anyone - even the most unadventurous, nervous or jobless of us.  I am also of the view that time waits for no-(wo)man and I do not personally want to exist in someone else's wake.  There are opportunities to be had, sights to be seen, experiences to be....experienced. So here I list below ways in which we can become 'Better Halves' and make new alliances (women and men - as it is not uncommon for the role to be reversed).

Wondering what to do with your time?  Then read on!

Join an Expat Group

There is a good support network for expatriates in Mumbai, and the quickest and easiest way to make new friends is to join Mumbai Connexions or the American Women's Club.  You don't have to be American to join the latter - both groups welcome every nationality - using English as the common language.  The majority of members are women and most of the activities are aimed at women.  The weekly meeting platform is the good old coffee morning where you will be able to chat to like-minded people, share experiences, get advice and generally have a very sociable time.  Once you join, you will have access to further weekly groups such as Mahjong, bridge, crafting, book clubs, golfing etc.  If you don't find something to interest you there, you are encouraged to set up groups that may be of interest to others. There are also monthly and annual events to enjoy where you can bring your partner - such as dinner clubs, Christmas parties or fundraising events.

Both groups do an enormous amount of work for their chosen charities and it is possible to get involved with volunteering for those as well.  In addition to that, if you have a particular skill set (perhaps you are a good organiser, have IT or administration skills) there is usually an opening for members to volunteer in various positions.  Positions such as 'Coffee Morning Co-ordinator' or 'Website Administrator'. These roles will bring focus and routine to your month and I recommend getting involved if you can.

Annual membership fees range between 800-1,000 Rs and you are usually expected to make a 100 Rs donation at each coffee morning - which goes to charity.  With Mumbai Connexions, you also get a monthly newsletter - written by members for members - detailing all upcoming events, as well as interesting information and articles. Again, you are invited to write for the magazine if you have a talent in that area.

If you are looking for a younger and more eclectic vibe, then you should look into joining Internations, Bombay Expats Club or The Cigar Club.  These groups regularly organise events (mostly drinking events!) but you need to either join a mailing list/Facebook Page/website in order to get invites.  I know lots of people who have made lasting friendships through such groups.

Get Acquainted with Mumbai

Before I even moved out to Mumbai, I was researching everything - from restaurants to shops to tourist sites. I read Mumbai Boss avidly everyday and was soon advising Mr Jules where to go to eat and shop (he came to Mumbai four months before me).  Every restaurant and shop opening, cultural happening and sale is mentioned on this site.  You will find very useful reviews and also guides - such as this one for Chor Bazaar where we love to buy antiques. The site Brown Paper Bag is in the same vein (but not as good in my opinion) and you can also find the out what the latest goings-ons will be by checking out Time Out Mumbai.

Get Cultured

Mumbai is a very cultured city and you will surely find something to fulfil your more inquisitive side.  There's the Asiatic Society, The Bombay Natural History Society, the Art Society of India and many more.  There are museums and art galleries to visit and Bollywood movies to be discovered and enjoyed. Google is your oyster!

Learn Something New

When was the last time you had some time on your hands?  Even if you have children, you've probably got a maid and driver to help out, leaving you free part of the day.  So now's your chance to take up that cookery course, dance class or learn how to use that camera. I learnt how to cook Mughlai curries at Foodwhizz Cookery School and I found out how to use my new Nikon on a Toehold weekend course. Perhaps I will experiment with Indian embroidery next....

If I was good at languages (and I am ashamed to say that I am not), I would be learning Hindi.  Having a basic knowledge of India's 'official' language will empower you - with rickshaw drivers, market vendors and locals in general.  Indian people are always delighted when you can speak a few words of the lingo.  If you can learn Marathi too (the state language), you will be all powerful.....

A recommended Hindi teacher is Pallavi Singh - find her here.

Start a Group

If you have a musical or artistic specialism or you are interested in something and can't find a group to join then start one yourself!  Once you start posting on noticeboards and Facebook pages, you will soon find that there are other like minded people out there (whether other expats or Indians).  For example, I started a 'PhotoLunch' group that takes a bunch of us out once a month to a place of interest.  We take snaps, have lunch then go home and upload our efforts to a closed facebook page for critique.  We are all amateurs but it doesn't matter - it gets us out, it makes us learn about our city and it helps us to improve what skills we have.  And of course, it helps us to make new friends.   The website 'Meetup' is also a good place to start a group in Mumbai.

Buy a Camera & Write a Blog!

If I can do it - anyone can do it.  My background is in accountancy and I've never written anything creative in my life (except for badly composed essays at school and business reports).  I'm never going to be JK Rowling or Annie Liebovitz, but writing a blog is a time-consuming pastime that forces you out to do research and take photographs.  You can start by just using your blog to communicate with loved ones and then see where it takes you.  The Blogger platform - which I use - is very simple and is free.  You can also use Wordpress (which is also free) if you are a bit more tech-savvy - which I am not!

You will be amazed by how many friends and contacts you can make in India through blogging.  And don't worry if you're no good with a camera - your friends and family just want a snapshot of your life - not an award winning photo-documentary.  I can honestly say that blogging has opened up a whole new world to me - and really connected me to the locals of Mumbai.

Get Socially Networked

It is easy to assume that everyone has a Facebook page or Twitter or Skype account these days.  But it's not always so.  Keeping in touch with friends and family back home helps you to stay sane. Sign up today - it will also help you keep abreast of expat groups in Mumbai.

Do a Slum Tour

OK - this is slightly controversial. I am not promoting 'poverty porn' or anything - but once you've been to Dharavi, it all becomes very clear.

To a lot of outsiders, Mumbai can be defined by Dharavi - everyone has seen the film Slumdog Millionaire (a film hated by the majority of Mumbaikars co-incidentally). Foreigners therefore have their preconceptions about the city.  But once you trail through the narrow (and admittedly sometimes smelly) industrial and residential lanes of Dharavi, you will see that people are working hard, making money, organising their homes, cooking their food and generally being content with life. Getting on with it - like you should. Get over your squeamishness (after all, I have done the tour on several occasions - and there was a time I wouldn't even walk in a country lane for fear of getting cow-dung on my stiletto heels!) and make a visit.

I recommend going through Reality Tours & Travel.  Here is my blog about it too.  I have since taken my husband, my best friend from the UK and my husband's boss from the UK on the tour.  They were all enlightened by the experience - Mr Jules's boss so much so that he wants to come back later in the year to give a class on Life Skills to the slum kids.

Stay Fit...or Get Fit

And this is where I fall down.  If you are like me, you will have access to your husband's car and driver during the day when he isn't using it.  You may even have your own allocated driver.  Therefore, it is very easy to drive everywhere without hardly putting a foot on Mumbai's badly maintained pavements.  Coupled with nice greasy curries, copious amounts of Sula wine or Kingfisher beer you will soon start to see the pounds pile on. And taking a nice country walk or jog around Mumbai is not really an option.  Unless you live near Aarey Milk Colony where it is possible to stroll, it takes a couple of hours (minimum) to get out of the city.  Not only that, but open spaces are few in this city and even if you find somewhere to walk, it's usually too hot or humid to bother.

So I recommend that you either utilise the gym in your apartment building if you are lucky enough to have one (we are but I've only ever shown guests in there!) or join a gym or club. Examples of gyms are Gold's Gym (where you can do some Bollywood celeb spotting!) or C'est La Vie with its nice big pool. Clubs favoured by expats are Waterstones in Andheri or the Breach Candy Club.  Both have giant swimming pools, fitness facilities, restaurants and bars. These clubs are what you call pretty 'exclusive' with exorbitant joining and annual fees.  Some expats are lucky enough to have their companies pay these fees.  Needless to say - I am not a member! Again, such clubs are good places to hook up with new friends, have lunch and relax by the pool (but I like to save that for my holidays).

Of course, as this is India, everyone should be doing Yoga and getting all Zen-like. Here, learning yoga is such good value that it is possible to get private tuition in the privacy of your own home or you can practice it at places such as the Yoga House (where you can also get delicious salads) or Temperance, both of which are in Bandra - or at the above mentioned clubs and gyms.

Be a Volunteer

I have already mentioned above that you can volunteer indirectly for charity through women's expat groups. But if you want a more meaningful experience, where you can utilise your by-now-almost-forgotten skills then it is possible to really get stuck in by directly helping one of countless, needy NGOs that exist in Mumbai.  I did this full time for three months when I first arrived - and it is one of the best things I've ever done.  I now sit on the Executive Council of that NGO and contribute knowledge from my past career to help develop the organisation - two to three days a week.  These activities help to take me away from what can be an inward looking expat world - where I can meet ordinary cityfolk with their own, interesting stories to tell.

What many NGOs need in this city, is help with their organisational structure, HR, accounts, fundraising, marketing and social networking.  These are areas where women who have just left their jobs can easily assist with.  And stay-at-home-mums can also find ways of making a contribution - perhaps by teaching English or helping with art lessons once a week.

I am going to write a lengthier post on how to do this at a later date so please come back again.

Organise Travel

You are in one of the most beautiful and culturally diverse countries in the world.  But you may need to get out of Mumbai to find that out. I have honestly met some women through expat groups who have lived here for some time and have not been outside the city (sometimes, the confines of their own apartment!).  There is no excuse for this!  Travel and accommodation is cheap in India and each and every state has its own personality, its own cuisine and its own people.  From the backwaters of Kerala to the royal palaces of Rajasthan to the mountainous regions of the Himalayas; animal safaris, frenetic cities and peaceful, rural India. There is a reason it's called 'Incredible India'!

Most internal flights - on Jet, SpiceJet or Indigo - cost an average of £70/$100 and if you are really brave, you can try the train which is a real adventure.   Closer to Mumbai, you've got hill stations and coastal resorts including Matheran, Alibaug, Lonavala and more.  You don't have to take a flight to get away.

Please read my travel posts for ideas on where to go and what to see. Your other half will be delighted that you've organised something for them after a stressful week at work.

Invite Guests

Admittedly, I've only had two visitors come to stay in the last year - but it is a long way to come from the UK (even longer from the US!).  People generally want to stay for at least two to three weeks to make the journey worthwhile - so it can be quite a commitment for both sides.

Nevertheless, I took the opportunity to show them my new city in detail and arrange onward travel to other parts of India.  I hope for them, that a lasting and unforgettable impression was made. It's good for people to put you in your new context and report to the rest of your friends and family that you really are doing OK!




So I think that's enough to be getting on with for now. I am not going to state the obvious things such as 'doing' lunch, having your nails done or going shopping - there is already enough material on my blog about that!

I will be back soon with some more advice for Mumbai Expats.

Coming up: The Mumbai Expat Series

Well I have just returned from a trip to London to an inbox full of emails asking me for info about expat life in Mumbai (for which I thank you!)  This has got me thinking that I should write some specific posts giving general advice to others thinking of (or being forced into) making the move to Maximum City. 

It's always lovely to hear from readers and although I have only been in Mumbai for just over a year - I still try to impart as much knowledge as I can. Sometimes I am contacted by women who are following their partners out here as a 'trailing spouse' (a term I despise!) but I also hear from women who are coming here to work, volunteer or travel. They ask my advice on how to cope with the transition, how to find new friends, how to get volunteer work or they may ask me more specific advice about expat life in Mumbai.  Perhaps about drinking-water, medicines and monsoon clothing.  

A lot of potential expats do worry about coming to India - after all, we all have preconceptions about the country - concerning the pollution, the poverty and the food.  We all worry about how to make friends or how to spend our time in the absence of a work visa. This is very understandable and hopefully I can help to allay some of those fears.

So now that I have some solid experience of living in this country - I will, over several posts, jot down a bit of advice for anyone who is about to make the transition.  Such subject matter will include 'Coping as a Trailing Spouse'; to 'Having a Baby in Mumbai' (which will refer to my fellow blogger 'Mumbai Mum' - a great resource for mums and mums to be); and 'How to be a Volunteer'. I will also be writing a guide to Bandra where I reside and which is a favourite expat hotspot.  Hopefully, anyone who is a regular reader of this blog will already have a good idea of places to shop - but I am sure I will cover that topic more as well!  

There are some things I have little knowledge about - such as where to school a child or which hospital to go to in the event of a medical emergency - which I will not be covering.  For this information, please refer to your relocation agent!  My advice will be more about how to have a fulfilling and interesting experience during your time in India.  And of course it will be from my point of view!

So please stay tuned over the next few weeks for posts in The Mumbai Expat Series.

Thanks for stopping by!

Are you going from this ......

To this?.....
Then keep reading over the next few weeks for tips on how to cope!

Bombay - a love love relationship

Well it's been over three months since I settled here and so much has happened in that time.  Friends and family (and even new friends) keep asking me if I am enjoying living in India and if I am happy.  It occurred to me that I never really say anything about my situation or what I am feeling about being in Bombay.  So this is a little post to reassure all the folks back home.  I would also like to mention a few reasons for the love love relationship with this [crazy] city.

The people

The best thing about Bombay is Indian people.  The best thing about India is therefore Indian people.  The open arms, the smiling faces, the ambition, the upwardly mobile, the hard working, the Hinglish, the generosity, the openness, the positivity, the can-do attitude, the resourcefulness, the personality, the sheer happiness.  The parents who experience such hardship and hold down several jobs just so their children will have the lives they can't (I speak about our cleaner). The children are a delight - inquisitive,  [generally] well behaved, keen to learn and be educated and instilled with a desire to lead a better life.  Of course not all Indians are like this but you get the general impression.

Never a dull moment

There is never a dull moment in Bombay!  Even a ninety minute drive to work through the shitty traffic keeps me in awe.  From the cattle weaving in and out of the cars, street hawkers and beggars tapping on your window, frail old men dragging two tonne trolleys, sweetcorn vendors, masumbi and chai wallahs on every corner, the mounds of rubbish everywhere, the BMWs, Mercedes and odd Ferraris of Bombay billionaires, the satellite dishes atop slum buildings, the families squatting on pavements with babies and toddlers, the Ganeshas being transported in the open backs of lorries, the dogs sleeping in the middle of roads, eleven year olds running across the street in front of the car, narrowly escaping death, honking rickshaws, buses crammed full of school children shouting out of the windows....I could go on all day.



Mother precariously holding her child on the back of a motorbike whilst speeding in and out of the traffic. 
Note how only the father is wearing a helmet!

Get anything, any time

Want a glass of red wine at 9pm on a Saturday night but the cupboard is bare?  No problem! I call my local alcohol vendor and can have a single bottle delivered to my doorstep within 10 minutes.  At no additional charge. (I won't mention that alcohol is bloody expensive in Maharashtra and that quality wine is hard to come by!).  I love that I can go down to Pali market and order my exported toilet paper, crates of Himalayan mineral water, a lump of butter and a small bag of garlic and then ask them to deliver it to me at a time convenient to me (no Tesco-esque prepaid time slots here).  Of course I could even do this by phone. If I want, I can have any manner of product delivered straight to my door for no extra charge...it's "all part of the service ma'am".  Go to a shoe shop and decide that those jewel encrusted slingbacks are a tad too high?  No problem madam, "we make them with whatever heel you like madam!".  Want an art deco dining set but the one in the shop is a bit too big for your space? "No problem madam, we make it made to measure!!! Six seats instead of eight!!".  Everything can be made to your exact requirements...providing you can find the right quality in the first place.

My privileged life

You may think I am talking about our nice lodgings, view of the sea, the extensive travel that our life affords us, our car, driver and cleaner. Yeah, that's all very nice.  But in fact I am thinking about the amazing people I work with, making the life of hundreds of families better in marginalised communities for no or very little pay.  About the devotion and commitment of volunteers, the inspiring workers, the skinny children tugging at my hand, the inquisitive looks of their mothers, the joy at having their photographs taken, making even trudging through dirty monsoon water in the slums a pleasure.  I get to see a side of Bombay that a lot of others will never see (or will choose to ignore).  Sometimes it's hard but I feel privleged that I can even have the tiniest role in helping others to help others.  Sounds cheesy? May be a little.



Staff at the Foundation demonstrating how to cook a nutritious meal to uneducated mothers

 Food glorious food

I love the endless new eating experiences that Bombay provides me with.  From glitzy restaurants trying to replicate London counterparts (usually badly), the most basic (and risky) of street food during Ramadan on Mohammed Ali Road, giant unending thalis, rich Punjabi cuisine, Rajastani inspired yoghurt marinated Malai kebabs (my favourite, yum), simple rice idlis with coconut relish for breakfast, the Parsi delights of Britannia restaurant, biryanis beautifully cooked in clay pots, simple and cheap Mysore Masala Dosas, my daily chai brought by the chai wallah, home cooked Goan prawn curry, work colleagues sharing their tiffins at lunchtime whilst sat cross-legged on the floor....the list goes on and on.  Let us not forget Yorkshire pork joints from Joseph's for our Sunday Roasts with suitcase imported Paxo and Knorr stock cube gravy.  I haven't even really started my food odyssey yet...I will soon be trying Bengali cuisine, South Indian cooking, Keralan fish dishes....the months to come will provide so many more culinary adventures.



The girls at work - sharing their tiffins at lunch time.

Sensory overload

Marigolds, sunsets, Ganesha festivals, textiles shops, rug traders....rubbish dumps.  Be it in a good way or a bad way, everything is colourful.  The colours go hand in hand with smells....you take the good with the bad.  The sandalwood incense that you might find at the foot of a shrine to Ganesha could be five feet away from an open sewer.  That's just how it is in Bombay.  The delicious smells of street food waft over drains overflowing with monsoon water.  Indians don't go in for the colour black much.  I always used to wear black in London, it was my uniform.  But now you will find me in the colours that match the warmth of the city...blues, reds, oranges, pinks, multicoloured patterns!  My clothes lack structure, I fling on garments without a thought in the morning and I even leave the house without lipstick.  The colours of India have got to me.  The sounds are constant, the tinny engine noises of the auto-ricks, the cartoon-like honking of giant buses, the squawks of the kites as they fly past our windows looking for prey, the call of the rag-and-bone man.  I now can not imagine not being surrounded by these sounds. As for touch?  Well it's best not to touch anything...

The spices from Crawford Market sum up India - Spicy, Vibrant, Tasty and Hot!

So - you think I am going to list the things I hate about Bombay?  No I am not going to that.  Let's revisit in another three months and see how I feel then.  When the novelty may have worn off.  Be assured for now that I couldn't be happier and I am looking forward to all the Indian adventures I will have with Mr Jules. Stay tuned!


 

Another day...Another Slum!

Actually this is not really a post about a slum, rather what I get up to on a daily basis and why I visited a slum area today.  I am sure a few people are wondering what this 'volunteering work' is that I do.  In fact, I am not supposed to talk about the NGO (Non Government Organisation) that I am working for on my current three month agreement so I will not.  Instead I will talk about an amazing experience I had today that was associated with what I am doing.

In short, I work for a Foundation that promotes the importance of good health and nutrition to impoverished mothers and children in a particular slum in Mumbai.  I am working on various projects and surveys.   When I was placed with the Foundation, I envisaged working in a back office somewhere, plugging away at figures and telling people to pull their fingers out and raise more money.  However, it hasn't quite worked out like that.  I am operating at 'shop floor' level much more than was envisaged and this has involved getting down and dirty in the community to see what is going on.  And it's been fascinating.

So today we were invited (as representatives of our organisation) to Jari Mari slum in Andheri to visit another NGO operation which is concerned with empowering girls by teaching them English and teaching them important life skills that will enable them to become mobile (ie give them the power to reach beyond their current situations). This was with the intention of swapping some ideas and skills with my NGO - by exchanging classes on nutrition for information on their community programmes.

My colleague and I were allowed to sit in on one of the life classes which was specifically about 'what it means to be Indian'.  My colleague introduced herself and the big scary lady from England and then each in turn, these adorable girls introduced themselves back, in English.  It was amazing when you bear in mind that these girls have come from utterly impoverished and degrading living conditions and have been educated by this incredible charity, via these community based classes, to articulate themselves so well to outsiders.  Out of the fourteen or so girls, only three were married, only two had children (a remarkable statistic in itself I think), one wanted to be a Bank Manager, one wanted to be a Fashion Designer and several wanted to be teachers.  I honestly felt quite emotional when they were expressing such aspirations! 

After the class (much of which was conducted in Marathi), my colleague pointed out that we were very impressed by their language skills and I also said thank you so much for welcoming me - they all waved and said goodbye in English and I left feeling very uplifted and inspired with ideas for my project (anyone who knows cynical me knows this is a fairly rare occurrence!)

Note I have not gone on about the conditions of just getting to the slum or the slum area itself but from the pictures you will see the kind of place I am talking about.  Very little facilities but a good enough room to get a sizeable group of people together who could learn and expand - all I saw (as usual) were smiles and laughter.  And I had a very nice cup of chai!

The entrance to the slum (thankfully the driver dropped us off and collected us later!)

The entrance to the community centre where the classes are held.  From my short experience in Mumbai I can tell you that these are fairly normal working and learning conditions for NGOs!

But once inside, there is a great atmosphere with lots of chattering and lots of laughing amongst the girls

The girl second from the right is the one who aspires to become a bank manager and the girl in the middle is the one who would like to be a fashion designer.  I came away believing that they have the determination to succeed!

The one mother who brought their child to the class.  He was so beautifully behaved (although our host was distressed that he was being given junk food to eat...our classes on good nutrition are definitely need here!)

Notebooks and pens to the ready

Above and below: Evidence of the English lessons held in the same room. Note the "I want to become a teacher" - so many of these girls are themselves inspired to go and teach the same methods to others.

A snatched photo outside the classroom - it always amazes me the amount of fabulous fresh vegetables that are available everwhere in this city!